As I scroll through my recent pictures, I find that I had sprouted a double chin. There it was. That little pad of fat beneath my chin, just hanging there as useless as me.
My double chin and I have this in common. Both of us are a waste of space.
I looked away from the mirror and winced. I cannot have this extra blob of fat in my pictures. I am the blob of fat that already exists in every one of my pictures.
Not being narcissistic here but in 30 days I will be graduating from medical school.
I can’t be showing my grandkids pictures of me with that blob of fat. No way in hell. I need to look Pinterest worthy. I’m getting hotter by one degree, for heaven’s sake.
So I asked Google what to do and it gave me a few exercises to lose that double chin. Before and after pictures of random strangers were super convincing and did not look totally photoshopped. So I decided to give it a go.
#1 The Jaw Jut
This involves looking up to the ceiling and opening your jaw and closing it. Repeatedly, to work on the platysma muscle.
Two minutes into doing that I reminded myself of the deranged Nutcracker doll with it’s mouth always hanging open.
#2 Kiss the ceiling
Look up at the ceiling and make a kissing face, said Google.
Now my ceiling things that I am hitting on it. Ugghh.
#3 Head lifts
These were pretty difficult. My neck did not fucntion for a whole hour after doing it. But losing my neck functions were nothing compared to the joy of losing my double chin.
#4 Clench and smile
Now Google did not tell me what to clench so I ended up clenching everything from face to butt. Great work out, though.
Phew. I felt like I burnt a few calories there. Maybe I’ll reward myself with a cupcake.
Yeap. That double chin is here to stay by the looks of it.